Stand Up Against Abuse: Mandy Hubbard

 

1. What made you decide to share a story involving relationship abuse?

I had a pretty tough relationship when I was 17 years old that was *NOT* physically abusive but was pretty hard to go through. I really wanted to channel the same emotional truth of that situation into a book, and BUT I LOVE HIM is the result.


2. What do you think teens should know in order to stay safe in a relationship? 

Oh, tough. You know, I think its just that you should never give up yourself for someone else. Hang onto your friends, your hobies, your family. A boyfriend (or girlfriend!) should be one part of a full life, not the only part of it.


3. Are there any resources for teens that you would recommend? (websites, phone numbers, groups, etc.)

I'm really impressed by the group that runs loveisrespect.org


4. What do you hope teenagers take from reading BUT I LOVE HIM?

You know, this is tough, because I wrote it for a lot of reasons. For one, I wanted to illustrate that abusive relationships are rarely black and white. It's not as if some perfectly normal guy just has "an anger problem" and is a real villain. Connor, in BUT I LOVE HIM, has some very deeply rooted issues far beyond anger. Secondly, I wanted to help people understand why a girl stays when, from the outside, it seems so wrong. And yet, at the same time, I wanted a reader to walk away realizing that it didn't matter what she did, how much she wanted to help him-- he was going to continue to hurt her. I guess I wanted a reader to walk away understanding that "sticking it out" isn't going to do anyone a service. It's just going to continue the abusive cycle.

5. BUT I LOVE HIM is told in reverse chronological order. Can you tell me why you wrote it this way?

Mainly, it was because I feel that readers (and people in real life) do place a judgement upon victims of domestic violence for "choosing" to stay. There's always that voice that says, "I'd never let a guy do that to me" or "I'd drop him so fast...." And when they read a book in normal chronological order, they pick that moment where they think they would have left (often the first hard insult, hit, etc). By reversing the story, the reader doesn't have that ability. They have to just sit back and read. 

But I Love Him by Amanda Grace (Mandy Hubbard)

Publisher: Flux (May 8th, 2011)

Reading Level: Young Adult

Paperback: 264 pages

Tonight was so much worse than anything before it. Tonight he didn't stop after the first slap.
At the beginning of senior year, Ann was a smiling, straight-A student and track star with friends and a future. Then she met a haunted young man named Connor. Only she can heal his emotional scars; only he could make her feel so loved — and needed. Ann can't recall the pivotal moment it all changed, when she surrendered everything to be with him, but by graduation, her life has become a dangerous high wire act. Just one mistake could trigger Connor's rage, a senseless storm of cruel words and violence damaging everything — and everyone — in its path.
This evocative slideshow of flashbacks reveals a heartbreaking story of love gone terribly wrong.

 Find Amanda Grace (Mandy Hubbard)
Website    |     Goodreads    |     Twitter    |    Facebook

Purchase But I Love Him
Amazon    |     Barnes & Noble    |     The Book Depository

Remember to check out THIS PAGE to sign up to win a copy of this book and the other books mentioned during "Stand Up Against Abuse" week. Help spread the word about the links and phone numbers listed on that page. 

Stand Up Against Abuse: Jennifer Brown

1. What made you decide to share a story involving relationship abuse? 

I like books that deal with tough issues. I think that reading can lead to thinking and talking, and thinking and talking can lead to problem-solving. Relationship abuse is a tough issue that's really happening to many teens. Teens are finding themselves in violent and dangerous relationship situations far too often, and I like the idea of creating a book that maybe might speak to some of them, and possibly help them get out of their situation.

The truth is, being a teen these days means dealing with some really tough stuff. They have to worry about things people in my generation never really had to even think about. I don't think I'm going to solve the world's problems in the pages of a novel, but sometimes I think all it takes is to hear one person, even if that person is just a fictional character, say, "I've been there. I got out. You can get out, too," to make a tough, or seemingly impossible, situation look...different.

I'm passionate about shining a light on social issues, because I truly do believe that books like Bitter End can make a difference. 


2. What do you think teens should know in order to stay safe in a relationship? 

First of all, love doesn't hurt. It doesn't leave bruises. It doesn't make you feel like you're worthless or stupid or ugly. If you're in a relationship where you're feeling these things, or where you're hurting, or especially where you're coming away with bruises, you are not in a loving relationship. It can all feel so very complex, especially when you're in love, but the abuse isn't going to get any better. If your partner is hurting you, emotionally or physically, you have to leave, even if you don't feel like you're strong enough to do so (you are). Also, tell someone. Don't keep secrets about what's happening to you. It may feel embarrassing or scary to tell someone what's going on, but in the end the person you tell might be able to help you stay safe.

3. Are there any resources for teens that you would recommend? (websites, phone numbers, groups, etc.)

Absolutely!

National Dating Abuse Helpline 1-866-331-9474
www.loveisrespect.org
(Recently, Break the Cycle, www.breakthecycle.org, has partnered with the National Dating Abuse Helpline)

National Domestic Violence Hotline 1-800-799-SAFE
www.thehotline.org

There is also a list of helpful resources in the back of Bitter End, as well as a Q&A with a licensed psychologist about abuse and abusive relationships -- how to recognize one and how to get out of it.


4. What do you hope teenagers take from reading BITTER END? 

First and foremost, and always, the enjoyment of having been immersed in a good story. As passionately as I feel about getting teens talking about tough issues, I feel even more passionately about the enjoyment and entertainment of reading. 

But I'll admit, if even one teen recognizes his or her relationship in Alex's story and makes a change...that would be pretty great, too.

Bitter End by Jennifer Brown

Publisher: Little, Brown Books for Young Readers (May 10th, 2011)

Reading Level: Young Adult

Hardback: 359 pages

When Alex falls for the charming new boy at school, Cole, a handsome, funny, sports star who adores her, she can't believe she's finally found her soul mate-someone who truly understands her and loves her for who she really is.
At first, Alex is blissfully happy. Sure, Cole seems a little jealous of her relationship with her best friends, Zack and Bethany, but what guy would want his girlfriend spending all of her time with another boy? But as the months pass, Alex can no longer ignore Cole's small put-downs, pinches, or increasingly violent threats. As Alex struggles to come to terms with the sweet boyfriend she fell in love with and the boyfriend whose "love" she no longer recognizes, she is forced to choose - between her "true love" and herself.

Find Jennifer Brown    |    Blog

Purchase Bitter End
Amazon    |     Barnes & Noble    |    The Book Depository

Remember to check out THIS PAGE to sign up to win a copy of this book and the other books mentioned during "Stand Up Against Abuse" week. Help spread the word about the links and phone numbers listed on that page. 

Stand Up Against Abuse: Deb Caletti

1.What made you decide to share a story involving relationship abuse? 

My initial goals were less about message than story - I wanted to write something suspenseful and atmospheric, a ghost story. That said, healthy and unhealthy relationships are subjects I keep returning to as a writer, probably because of my own past experience.

While I’ve not been in a relationship exactly like Clara’s, I’ve been with an abusive partner. (You can read more about this here, if you’re interested: http://debcaletti.com/archives/59).

Now, I just have this hope, this big, giant HOPE that young women (and young men) manage to stay out of those places. I hope they’ll understand themselves better than I did, I hope that they’ll put themselves only in good hands, and, more than anything, I hope that they’ll know. There was so much I didn’t know. And how can we know all that we need to about this, with the basic messages we still get? This is why I shared this particular story. To say, please know. To say, hey, those vampire books… The ones that show dark, obsessive “love” as romantic? There’s nothing romantic in something that will slowly but surely steal your confidence, joy, and ability to act in your own best interest. There’s nothing romantic about a person who frightens you.

2. What do you think teens should know in order to stay safe in a relationship? 

I think it’s important to be smart and know the warning signs of a potentially abusive partner. Getting involved quickly, intensity, possessiveness, jealousy - these are things that might not seem like a big deal unless you’re aware that they are indicators of serious trouble ahead. But, even more, it’s important to listen to ourselves. Things can go wrong slowly, and there are always those little red flags at the beginning, those times when we think, “Huh? What was THAT?” We ignore that voice sometimes, though, because the “love” or excitement or approval feels so good right then. We might see red flags, but not want to see. Our strong need/desire for the relationship can cause us to explain away the worrisome things we see. But, “He wants me” is not the same thing as “He loves me.” And that little voice inside going, “Hey, wait. There’s something wrong here” – it knows.


3. Are there any resources for teens that you would recommend? (websites, phone numbers, groups, etc.) 


The first thing I would suggest if you find yourself in a situation like Clara’s (or any other type of abusive relationship) is to start talking – to friends, family, teachers, counselors. People on the bus. The mail lady. Anyone. Your reality gets very twisted up, and it’s crucial to hear voices of clarity. Having someone say, “He/she did WHAT?!” is a first step to seeing straight and getting out. Their outrage and sense of what’s normal is hugely important, as you’ve likely lost both of those things. You can also call The National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-SAFE or the National Teen Dating Abuse Hotline at 1-866-331-9474. One site for teens: www.loveisrespect.org. 


4. What do you hope teenagers take from reading STAY? 


If STAY helps readers recognize what this kind of relationship abuse looks like, how it builds, how complicated your feelings become, and the long-lasting damage it can do, then I am one happy writer. Too, I hope readers will see that anyone can find themselves in that place. Clara is “anyone.” I get really upset with the people (often other women, even more often very young women), who say, “Not me. Never me. She’s an idiot. I would NEVER…” It’s arrogant, unkind, and naïve. The slope from here to there is slippery and complex, and the effect one person can have on another – on their confidence, strength, and their capacity to take action – can be profound and dramatic.

I hope readers will also take away the fact that abuse is always bigger than you are. The issues that drive someone to do those things are not solvable or cured by your love or reassurance or even by you setting down the rules of what you’ll put up with. There is no approach you can take to make it “work.” The most important thing is this: real love does not ever, ever cause you to feel small, trapped, or scared. Real love is safe.

Stay by Deb Caletti
Publisher: Simon Pulse (April 5th, 2011)
Reading Level: Young Adult
Hardcover: 313 pages

Clara's relationship with Christian is intense from the start, and like nothing she’s ever experienced before. But what starts as devotion quickly becomes obsession, and it's almost too late before Clara realizes how far gone Christian is—and what he's willing to do to make her stay.
Now Clara has left the city—and Christian—behind. No one back home has any idea where she is, but she still struggles to shake off her fear. She knows Christian won't let her go that easily, and that no matter how far she runs, it may not be far enough....

 Find Deb Caletti
Website   |    Facebook

Purchase Stay
Amazon   |    Barnes & Noble   |    The Book Depository

Remember to check out THIS PAGE to sign up to win a copy of this book and the other books mentioned during "Stand Up Against Abuse" week. Help spread the word about the links and phone numbers listed on that page. 

Contest Winners

Some giveaway winners! 

The winner of the Midsummer's Eve Giveaway Hop is....

Sarah Cruz 

Picked a copy of Ten Things We Did (and Probably Shouldn't Have)

The winner of the SIGNED Starcrossed ARC is...

Anna D. 

The winner of the Descended by Blood ebook is...

Lorena P. /  LoreMej

Congrats! You should all have an email from me. Please either verify your email address (for the ebook) or send your mailing address. 

Stand Up Against Abuse: Links and Resources

Today is the start of my week-long feature Stand Up Against Abuse. This is a new feature that will highlight relationship abuse and some of the recent books that have been released that discuss the topic as well. I hope to host this event every year and highlight these important novels.

Young Adult books have the ability to change lives. Teens and young adults can see a topic in a book that may have similarities to their own life. They may learn, through a strong character, how to respond to threats or violence. I have read several young adult books that I wish I would have had as a teen. They often show strength, courage, and determination that can alter the perception of a situation. A young girl with an abusive boyfriend may finally see the warning signs and decide to break free.  A young boy may realize that he, too, can be mentally or physically abused and that he shouldn't be ashamed. 


Many people may feel that young adult novels shouldn't tackle these issues. They may be too violent or depressing, but the truth is that thousands of teens deal with these same situations each day. They know the violence first-hand and a book may actually be the thing that triggers their drive to make it stop. 

Young adult books can save lives!

Authors Deb Caletti, Jennifer Brown, and Mandy Hubbard will be here answering some questions and they have offered up copies of their new books.

In order to spread the word about this topic, I will only be offering extra entries for links on twitter and/or blogs that link to this page. I will update this page throughout the week and link the author interviews. In addition, this page will contain the important resources that individuals can use in case they are in an abusive relationship.

Please help spread the word about this topic and share the links on this page. 

You can grab the button below by copying the code. It will link to this page. 

Interviews
Deb Caletti
Jennifer Brown
Mandy Hubbard

List of Abuse Warning Signs

Phone Numbers

The National Domestic Violence Hotline
 1-800-799-SAFE

The National Teen Dating Abuse Hotline
 1-866-331-9474

Websites


The Hotline- www.thehotline.org




Teen site- www.loveisrespect.org

Break the Cycle- www.breakthecycle.org

Giveaway

Prizes: 

  

3 winners

• 1st place
• SIGNED copy of Bitter End
• Stay
• But I Love Him
• The Six Rules of Maybe

•  2nd place
• Bitter End
• Stay
• But I Love Him
• The Six Rules of Maybe

• 3rd place
• Bitter End
• But I Love Him

Rules

• You must be at least 13 to enter. 
• Name and email must be provided and counts as 1 entry.
• Extra entries are possible and links must be provided.
• Contest is US Only and ends July 11th.
• Once contacted, the winner will have 48 hours to respond. 
• The form must be filled out to enter.   

You can use this tweet

"Find out how to STAND UP against relationship abuse http://t.co/MnGGOdB  #standupagainstabuse"

I have read and reviewed all 3 of the books that will be mentioned this week- Stay by Deb Caletti, Bitter End by Jennifer Brown, and But I Love Him by Mandy Hubbard. You can click each title for the link to that review.

Review: Haunting Violet by Alyxandra Harvey

Haunting Violet by Alyxandra Harvey
Publisher: Walker Childrens (June 21st, 2011)
Reading Level: Young Adult
Hardcover: 352 pages
Source: Publisher
Rating: 4 of 5 stars

Violet Willoughby doesn't believe in ghosts. But they believe in her. After spending years participating in her mother's elaborate ruse as a fraudulent medium, Violet is about as skeptical as they come in all matters supernatural. Now that she is being visited by a very persistent ghost, one who suffered a violent death, Violet can no longer ignore her unique ability. She must figure out what this ghost is trying to communicate, and quickly because the killer is still on the loose.

Afraid of ruining her chance to escape her mother's scheming through an advantageous marriage, Violet must keep her ability secret. The only person who can help her is Colin, a friend she's known since childhood, and whom she has grown to love. He understands the true Violet, but helping her on this path means they might never be together. Can Violet find a way to help this ghost without ruining her own chance at a future free of lies?

Review: This was my first experience reading a book by Alyxandra Harvey and I was very impressed with the story and her writing style. Haunting Violet is a captivating historical novel set in England during the 1800s.

Violet is a young girl who is forced to go along with her mother's dishonest ways of making money. Her mother pretends to be a medium and she gets money from people who have lost a family member. She uses tricks and cons to make the family members believe that they are truly seeing and hearing their loved ones. Colin is there with Violet from the beginning. He was a orphan and Violet's mother hired him to help her carry out her schemes.

Violet's mother sees a great opportunity for herself when she is invited to Lord Jasper's estate and she wants Violet to grab the interest of the wealthy Xavier at the same time.  But soon Violet is thrown into a mystery she never expected. A real ghost is following her around and it's up to her to find out more about this ghost. This takes her on some very scary adventures but luckily she has Colin there to help her.

Violet's relationship with Colin was wonderful to follow. They had a great friendship that seemed to slowly grow into something more. Along with Colin, Violet becomes friends with Elizabeth and the three of them try to unravel the mystery of what happened to the ghostly young girl together.

I'm typically not a huge fan of historical novels but Alyxandra Harvey did a fantastic job at portraying this time period. It truly felt like I was right there with the characters and the descriptions were fantastic. Violet was a terrific character who showed great courage and compassion. This book was much more than simply a ghost story and I will definitely be reading more from Alyxandra.

Find out more about Alyxandra Harvey

Alyxandra Harvey    |    Blog     |    Twitter     |    Goodreads

Purchase Haunting Violet

Amazon    |    Barnes & Noble    |    The Book Depository

In My Mailbox (55)

Crazy-good book week!! Got some great summer/fall titles that I've been wanting badly!! Thanks to Hyperion, HarperTeen, Random House, Simon & Schuster, St. Martin's Press, Little, Brown Books for Young Readers, and author Megan Duncan.

Review
Mercy (ARC) by Rebecca Lim
The Near Witch (ARC) by Victoria Schwab
Putting Makeup On Dead People by Jen Violi
Girl Wonder by Alexa Martin
..an UNrequired reading water bottle and 2 packs of cards (1 for giveaway soon)
Sass and Serendipity by Jennifer Ziegler (ARC and finished copy)
Fateful (ARC) by Claudia Gray
The Beginning of After (ARC) by Jennifer Castle
A Beautiful Dark (ARC) by Jocelyn Davies
Released (SIGNED) by Megan Duncan
Soul Thief (ARC) by Jana Oliver
Damned (ARC) by Nancy Holder & Debbie Vigule
Sometimes it Happens (ARC) by Lauren Barnholdt
Forgotten by Cat Patrick
The Lost Crown by Sarah Miller
The Other Countess by Eve Edwards
Wildcat Fireflies by Amber Kizer
Starstruck by Cyn Balog
The Summer I Learned to Fly by Dana Reinhardt
Bad Taste in Boys by Carrie Harris
Amen L.A. by Cherie Bennett
Texas Gothic by Rosemary Clement-Moore

Purchased
Shadowspell by Jenna Black


What did you get in your mailbox this week?

*IMM is a weekly meme hosted by Kristi at The Story Siren

and it was inspired by Alea at Pop Culture Junkie.